Interesting for you to say this given that your children are older. Would you say that journey of recognizing your own self as a child never ends as a parent?
Interesting for you to say this given that your children are older. Would you say that journey of recognizing your own self as a child never ends as a parent?
My children are older (30 & 24). My goal was to raise them to be independent of me - and I seem to have done okay, with a few occasions where a little more help was needed (early house moves and the like, but even that is now out of my domain; loans from the ‘bank of mum’ are no longer required, and my daughter, the younger child, was telling me she wants to buy a scooter to get to and from work and her dad offered to lend her the money and she turned him down). But more directly to answer the question you asked (journey of recognising yourself as a child), they both now offer me advice and information. Being open to recognising that I don’t know it all, though once they thought I did, means that both sides of the parent/child equation get to grow more. Equally, they have moved well through the teen years (where they, instead of me, ‘knew everything’), and listen well to considered advice, which I rarely offer now without being invited. Growing up the first time is hard. Growing up again, for me, was in many cases even harder. But oh, the joy of reaching a place where you feel comfortable in your own skin, where stress struggles to get a foothold and usually fails. So. Worth. It. One of my current mentors, a gentleman in his mid 80’s, tells me that the first 60 years of childhood are the most complicated. I’m looking forward to it all getting easier in a few more years.
Interesting for you to say this given that your children are older. Would you say that journey of recognizing your own self as a child never ends as a parent?
It keeps going through generations. You’ll be a grandparent one day and see it.
My children are older (30 & 24). My goal was to raise them to be independent of me - and I seem to have done okay, with a few occasions where a little more help was needed (early house moves and the like, but even that is now out of my domain; loans from the ‘bank of mum’ are no longer required, and my daughter, the younger child, was telling me she wants to buy a scooter to get to and from work and her dad offered to lend her the money and she turned him down). But more directly to answer the question you asked (journey of recognising yourself as a child), they both now offer me advice and information. Being open to recognising that I don’t know it all, though once they thought I did, means that both sides of the parent/child equation get to grow more. Equally, they have moved well through the teen years (where they, instead of me, ‘knew everything’), and listen well to considered advice, which I rarely offer now without being invited. Growing up the first time is hard. Growing up again, for me, was in many cases even harder. But oh, the joy of reaching a place where you feel comfortable in your own skin, where stress struggles to get a foothold and usually fails. So. Worth. It. One of my current mentors, a gentleman in his mid 80’s, tells me that the first 60 years of childhood are the most complicated. I’m looking forward to it all getting easier in a few more years.