Self care is a super power. It isnt selfish. You and mama are doing a wonderful job. Hii internet nephew 🩵. Dont give your parents too much a hassle now, here?
Your posts always feel so timely. I’m typing this from the couch where I am home sick along with my husband and our 10-month old twins. We have entered the daycare walking incubus phase. Rite of passage, I suppose?
What you said about parenting while sick is so true. The show def doesn’t stop. I’m kind of kicking myself for all of the childless times I was sick and didn’t realize how nice it was to actually allow my body full rest and recovery.
All of that is to say I’m really glad you were able to take some time for yourself. Your description of it is so poignant and heart-warming. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Tyece, wishing you and your partner a speedy recovery. I remember when we prayed for twins — goodness I can’t imagine 2 of Myles right now. While we want another, I’m sitting in this phase of just having one child with such gratitude. Wishing all of you love and strength. Thanks for being here ❤️
Gahhh this is wonderful. What I love is that the thing you did for yourself was so childlike. We're all eight years old; in need of ice cream. We do our whole world a disservice when we forget.
Good for you. I'm glad you took that time. My daughter is back at college and my son is off into the working world, and still it's hard to move myself to the center of the frame. It always takes me a while to reorganize my thinking when they leave. The space is good, for them and for me. But it's an adjustment every time. Those moments when I feel aimless I need to nudge myself toward what's fulfilling for me. But all those years of caregiving, the ones you guys are in the midst of right now, have a way of rewiring our brains. You're wise to start thinking about it now. Beautifully written. Thanks for sharing.
I went to my husband’s 25 year HS reunion this weekend and spent a lot of time telling everyone how blessed we are to have 4 local grandparents who are very involved and present in our kids’ lives. I know it’s a huge privilege.
Mine don’t get sick as much now but 2 out of 4 of us have gotten the flu the last 3 years- last year thankfully I didn’t get it when 5 yo and husband had it. I know it’s hard to perfect the flu shot.
Buying myself a new book is a common form of self care, I got a new romance novel Nothing Like the Movies by Lynn Painter at Barnes and Noble for its exclusive edition and beautiful sprayed edges. I often feel guilty for taking time for myself especially since we rely on the grandparents so much. I often feel I can’t express enough appreciation for them to know how truly grateful I am.
My heart has been heavy this week. I felt somewhat blindsided by the number of white women I thought of as friends eulogizing Charlie Kirk last week. I felt stupid for thinking our views more closely aligned. My family has also been through a lot lately with the death of our cousin’s husband and we had a joyful but very emotional celebration of life on Friday. We all cried when her dad said all he wanted to do was fix her pain, so many of us want to fix her pain and we all love her and their kids (4 and 6 yo)- but we can’t. We all have to be present in the discomfort and it’s a helpless feeling.
Elizabeth, I appreciate you so much for sharing. I can't imagine how much lighter this load would be if we had a Fantastic 4 like you. I make it a habit to tell people who have grandparents around to cherish them. While we currently do not have that kind of support I am hoping and praying we will be able to be those people for him.
My heart has been heavy after last week. It's a grim reminder of where people's heart's are. I have so many thoughts on the situation, but don't feel secure enough or safe enough -- to much depending on me, and a family to feed. The helpless feeling is all too familiar.
Single Mama here with three beautiful adult sons. It wasn't easy but the outcome was worth every single blood, sweat and tear. I realized early on that I had to fill my bucket first before I could begin to fill theirs. God bless my own Mom. She used to tell me that I was being selfish to do so. Her generation didn't know any better. I'm grateful that I didn't listen to her. 🙏
I'm sending healing prayers to you and your family. May a bubble of protection keep all the germs away from your threshold.
This falls under the category of "what I wish I had done" when my kids were young/at home. My generation was not encouraged in self-care, and thus, I didn't do a good job of demonstrating it to my family. There's a level of arrogance in the "do it all" syndrome that does no one any good. Remember that Miles is witnessing an example of being healthy. He'll follow you, Daddy! Bravo.
Yes to this: “Maybe taking up space for myself doesn’t need to mean I’m being selfish.” I might get it tattooed on the back of my hand… deeply insightful. And damn good that you are already taking those moments. Keep going.
Good for you, Marc. And I'll tell you what's also amazing: I'm catching up on my reading here, and this is the third consecutive essay that has been all about making sure we're doing what we need to do to take care of ourselves. Holy smokes, Universe. Thanks for driving that message home!
First, I just wanna say that the voiceover for this letter took it to a whole other level. I’m so glad you include them periodically. So so happy you got to have your ice cream. I could feel your joy radiating out of my phone.
Last time I did something for myself was last week. I stopped in Sephora after taking a practice exam to just smell fragrances, decompress and make further note of potential future purchases.
I don’t feel guilty because I know how off my square I am when I am overwhelmed and not properly rested. I have to fill my own cup because no one else will and I have even started to cultivate that with using my PTO days…Prepare The Others🗣️ because I won’t be here lol.
I think my ice cream moment is seeing Marvel films on opening weekend by myself.
My heart is pretty good. Thank you for asking. How is your heart Marc?
Self care is a super power. It isnt selfish. You and mama are doing a wonderful job. Hii internet nephew 🩵. Dont give your parents too much a hassle now, here?
SN: that ice cream looks DELISH
Nae, if Substack is around long enough, one day Myles will read these comments and say - is “Nae my auntie?!”
Awww! Heck yeah🥹🩵
Hey Marc!! Someone is pretending to be you in the comments below.
Congratulations!
You have officially entered the "disease-infested vermin" stage.
They pick something up at daycare/kindergarten/first grade.
They bring it home.
They're sick.
They get one of you sick.
That parent gets the other parent sick.
Everyone gets better.
So walking petri dish goes back to school in time to pick up the next variant.
And that's the next year.
😁
The next time you take the way past the ice cream shop, can you bring a small cooler and bring some home for your wife.
Because that sounds like a nice treat.
Date night with babysitter is highly recommended.
hahaha pinball 🦠
You know that’s a wonderful idea. Next time for sure! Thanks for always pushing me to be better ❤️
Please.
You are wonderful. So is your wife.
I'm excited to read your posts.
And your punishment for being wonderful is I give you unsolicited advice!
Your posts always feel so timely. I’m typing this from the couch where I am home sick along with my husband and our 10-month old twins. We have entered the daycare walking incubus phase. Rite of passage, I suppose?
What you said about parenting while sick is so true. The show def doesn’t stop. I’m kind of kicking myself for all of the childless times I was sick and didn’t realize how nice it was to actually allow my body full rest and recovery.
All of that is to say I’m really glad you were able to take some time for yourself. Your description of it is so poignant and heart-warming. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Tyece, wishing you and your partner a speedy recovery. I remember when we prayed for twins — goodness I can’t imagine 2 of Myles right now. While we want another, I’m sitting in this phase of just having one child with such gratitude. Wishing all of you love and strength. Thanks for being here ❤️
Gahhh this is wonderful. What I love is that the thing you did for yourself was so childlike. We're all eight years old; in need of ice cream. We do our whole world a disservice when we forget.
Repeat after me:
Ice cream fulfills all recommended daily requirements.
Proteins, fats, carbs.
Unless you're lactose intolerant, ice cream is perfect.
Cheers to more ice cream solo dates. Hope you and the family are doing will ❤️
👏👏👏
Good for you. I'm glad you took that time. My daughter is back at college and my son is off into the working world, and still it's hard to move myself to the center of the frame. It always takes me a while to reorganize my thinking when they leave. The space is good, for them and for me. But it's an adjustment every time. Those moments when I feel aimless I need to nudge myself toward what's fulfilling for me. But all those years of caregiving, the ones you guys are in the midst of right now, have a way of rewiring our brains. You're wise to start thinking about it now. Beautifully written. Thanks for sharing.
Self care is NOT selfish. It's necessary. Good for you to honor that for yourself.
Also, peach apple cardamom? Yes please!!
I went to my husband’s 25 year HS reunion this weekend and spent a lot of time telling everyone how blessed we are to have 4 local grandparents who are very involved and present in our kids’ lives. I know it’s a huge privilege.
Mine don’t get sick as much now but 2 out of 4 of us have gotten the flu the last 3 years- last year thankfully I didn’t get it when 5 yo and husband had it. I know it’s hard to perfect the flu shot.
Buying myself a new book is a common form of self care, I got a new romance novel Nothing Like the Movies by Lynn Painter at Barnes and Noble for its exclusive edition and beautiful sprayed edges. I often feel guilty for taking time for myself especially since we rely on the grandparents so much. I often feel I can’t express enough appreciation for them to know how truly grateful I am.
My heart has been heavy this week. I felt somewhat blindsided by the number of white women I thought of as friends eulogizing Charlie Kirk last week. I felt stupid for thinking our views more closely aligned. My family has also been through a lot lately with the death of our cousin’s husband and we had a joyful but very emotional celebration of life on Friday. We all cried when her dad said all he wanted to do was fix her pain, so many of us want to fix her pain and we all love her and their kids (4 and 6 yo)- but we can’t. We all have to be present in the discomfort and it’s a helpless feeling.
Elizabeth, I appreciate you so much for sharing. I can't imagine how much lighter this load would be if we had a Fantastic 4 like you. I make it a habit to tell people who have grandparents around to cherish them. While we currently do not have that kind of support I am hoping and praying we will be able to be those people for him.
My heart has been heavy after last week. It's a grim reminder of where people's heart's are. I have so many thoughts on the situation, but don't feel secure enough or safe enough -- to much depending on me, and a family to feed. The helpless feeling is all too familiar.
Single Mama here with three beautiful adult sons. It wasn't easy but the outcome was worth every single blood, sweat and tear. I realized early on that I had to fill my bucket first before I could begin to fill theirs. God bless my own Mom. She used to tell me that I was being selfish to do so. Her generation didn't know any better. I'm grateful that I didn't listen to her. 🙏
I'm sending healing prayers to you and your family. May a bubble of protection keep all the germs away from your threshold.
This falls under the category of "what I wish I had done" when my kids were young/at home. My generation was not encouraged in self-care, and thus, I didn't do a good job of demonstrating it to my family. There's a level of arrogance in the "do it all" syndrome that does no one any good. Remember that Miles is witnessing an example of being healthy. He'll follow you, Daddy! Bravo.
I want to share a poem with you, Maya, has sent to me this week that has my feeling all the feels. I will email it to you.
Yes to this: “Maybe taking up space for myself doesn’t need to mean I’m being selfish.” I might get it tattooed on the back of my hand… deeply insightful. And damn good that you are already taking those moments. Keep going.
Hope you are finding time for you, George. What's it for you?
To be honest, for the last two and a bit years, nothing.
But.
After I read your post, I booked a day off work in two weeks’ time.
I’m going to go to the gym, get a haircut, have a massage, try a sauna and then read by the beach before school pick up.
As you can see, I’m an all-or-nothing kind of guy…
thank you for the inspiration.
Love this for you! ❤️ well deserved. Rest hard, and if you can’t rest anyway.
I love this so much bro
Peach apple cardamom, oh my! That sounds heavenly. (I treat myself every now and again to a cardamom latte.)
So glad you took the long way home, Marc.
This was a huge encouragement bro. Those small moments and the beliefs that lead to our choices make all the difference.
Good for you, Marc. And I'll tell you what's also amazing: I'm catching up on my reading here, and this is the third consecutive essay that has been all about making sure we're doing what we need to do to take care of ourselves. Holy smokes, Universe. Thanks for driving that message home!
Also, I think you meant "Nobel Peach Prize." 😅
First, I just wanna say that the voiceover for this letter took it to a whole other level. I’m so glad you include them periodically. So so happy you got to have your ice cream. I could feel your joy radiating out of my phone.
Last time I did something for myself was last week. I stopped in Sephora after taking a practice exam to just smell fragrances, decompress and make further note of potential future purchases.
I don’t feel guilty because I know how off my square I am when I am overwhelmed and not properly rested. I have to fill my own cup because no one else will and I have even started to cultivate that with using my PTO days…Prepare The Others🗣️ because I won’t be here lol.
I think my ice cream moment is seeing Marvel films on opening weekend by myself.
My heart is pretty good. Thank you for asking. How is your heart Marc?
YOU BETTER GET SOME ICE CREAM MARC! 👏🏾