Oh the tears! I remember so many mornings crying in my car. And then you have the day when they don't even say goodbye because they're so excited to get there.
I remember feeling like a complete failure when I couldn’t juggle my remote job with full time childcare. I remember feeling like a failure having to sign up for daycare and handing my girl off. But in the ‘failure’ (which it wasn’t) I found my humanity again. My own wholeness. I remembered what it felt like to be rested and present instead of perpetually burnt out. Saying all of this just simply to witness yall and send so much love as you both navigate all of the feelings that come along with daycare and separation. This was so beautiful and brought me to tears remembering this challenging, yet exhilarating, time of my life. Thank you for writing this, Marc.
My own wholeness! Yes. When I tell you that having the time to do things I care about without the guilt of leaving him home with my wife is so liberating! I am grateful for how something I thought was so small can create so much tension and freedom at the same time in our bodies.
I've often heard parents describe this experience, which I think is a very common one. But this is certainly the most eloquent and moving description of it.
Bill, this means a lot. It always resonates a little more when comments like this come from another man. Thank you for seeing the light in this project for him.
I remember those early days, Jake clinging to my legs not wanting to let go, me feeling so conflicted because I had to get to work but my heart broke as I saw his distress. I wanted to keep hugging and holding him, I needed to go. My second son was so different. Barely a look back as he happily joined his friends. That was hard too, though, in a different way.
Thank you for sharing such a hard parenting experience in such a beautiful, heartfelt way.
This is lovely and honest. Reminds me of how it felt to come home after dropping our daughter off at college the first time, just about a year ago. And how it felt with our son before that. The house is too big and too quiet, and going into their rooms and inhaling the smell they've left behind is so sweet and so sad, like they've only just walked out of the room. (I may or may not have not washed their pillowcases for weeks so I could breathe them in now and again.) They are about to return to their schools again, and it will be hard. Tho not ever as hard again as the first time. Once they've gone and come back again, you realize how much of the tapestry of family is woven from the new things each family member brings home. It's that venturing out on new adventures that makes home so special. I'm glad for you guys to have some of your time back. And I'm glad for Myles to have more loving adults in his life. That's never a bad thing.
Lovely and heart-wrenching! I remember this moment all too well and am welling up just thinking about it, having just dropped off my 5th grader for his first day. I hope that the day care experience is good for Myles and you both and that you all settle into enjoying this new phase.
Oh wow daycare...seems so far away for me because my oldest is now 16yo. She was 6 months old when she first went to daycare. Her Granny was sooo bent out of shape that her little baby was going to daycare and she stayed mad at me for days. I didn't care for the idea as my family never used daycare really but I was also 19yo trying to get my life together for this life I'd bought into the world. Her daycare would call me every time she spit up excessively and my mom was more than happy to drop what she was doing to go pick her up. They'd spend the day shopping and eating in downtown Brooklyn and then pick me up from my classes. Oh come on now Marco, now you got me crying and missing those memories with not just my little girl, but my mom too. Thank you ❤️
As usual, this post brought by tears to my eyes. It’s such a treat, you bringing us into this beautiful world you’re exploring / building—the three of you. 💕♥️
I made the mistake of listening to Phil Collins' soundtrack to "Tarzan" this morning while feeding by first baby girl oatmeal before taking her to daycare.
It was quite humid in the house, my eyes started to sweat. A lot.
Love this letter--thanks for expressing the feeling I think is universal to almost all parents who go through this.
Yes, my daughter's first months of daycare were hard on us all. It took a long time to get into the groove of it, and I still miss her when she's gone.
I'm always telling you it gets easier, but not this time. I miss my kid so much when he's not around. The worst might be around lunchtime on Mondays after a weekend together. It just feels like a piece of me is missing.
Confirming Mondays are extra hard! We are doing Mon -TH. So the extra long weekend makes the transitions tough. He is starting to be able to tell when we are going to daycare versus not. Which is good for his routine but makes it a little harder during drop offs. I'm hoping at least for him it gets a little easier!
It will definitely get easier for him! Before you know it, he’ll have a whole social life outside of you and Maya! Which will bring its own mix of joy and heartache!
When you pick him up, what fun things did he do at daycare?
Is there someone else there who is his age?
When you drive him to daycare, ask him what he thinks he might do? If he likes the day care provider, won't she be so happy to see him! If there's someone his age, won't it be fun to see them?
This is an adventure if he thinks it is.
(The only thing I suggest not doing is if he has a favorite stuffed animal, do not bring it to daycare unless you have two. Losing Bear is hard to fix.)
Beautiful as usual.
I don't know why people cut the crusts off so I hope lots of people answer!
😁
Thank you, Bridget! Anxiously waiting the replies! haha.
Beautiful! What a milestone (Mylesstone), and a hard one.
He'll be developing relationships with other kids and adults, which will be enriching for him too. As you find your rhythm, it'll get easier.
But now is such a tender time.
Thanks for sharing, Marc.
Thank you, Diana! This reminds me to tag this under the Mylestone category.
Today was a little easier for us. I know soon he will be excited to go and will gladly leave us and not turn back. Not looking forward to that day!
It will be a bittersweet moment for sure, Marc. But he'll still light up when he sees his parents come to pick him up.
Oh the tears! I remember so many mornings crying in my car. And then you have the day when they don't even say goodbye because they're so excited to get there.
I am not looking forward to that day!!!!!
Ha! You can’t win in this situation.
I remember feeling like a complete failure when I couldn’t juggle my remote job with full time childcare. I remember feeling like a failure having to sign up for daycare and handing my girl off. But in the ‘failure’ (which it wasn’t) I found my humanity again. My own wholeness. I remembered what it felt like to be rested and present instead of perpetually burnt out. Saying all of this just simply to witness yall and send so much love as you both navigate all of the feelings that come along with daycare and separation. This was so beautiful and brought me to tears remembering this challenging, yet exhilarating, time of my life. Thank you for writing this, Marc.
My own wholeness! Yes. When I tell you that having the time to do things I care about without the guilt of leaving him home with my wife is so liberating! I am grateful for how something I thought was so small can create so much tension and freedom at the same time in our bodies.
I've often heard parents describe this experience, which I think is a very common one. But this is certainly the most eloquent and moving description of it.
Bill, this means a lot. It always resonates a little more when comments like this come from another man. Thank you for seeing the light in this project for him.
One of the most relatable articles I’ve ever read.
Man, you are back(?) How are the TikToks going? Missed seeing your doodles!
I remember those early days, Jake clinging to my legs not wanting to let go, me feeling so conflicted because I had to get to work but my heart broke as I saw his distress. I wanted to keep hugging and holding him, I needed to go. My second son was so different. Barely a look back as he happily joined his friends. That was hard too, though, in a different way.
Thank you for sharing such a hard parenting experience in such a beautiful, heartfelt way.
This is lovely and honest. Reminds me of how it felt to come home after dropping our daughter off at college the first time, just about a year ago. And how it felt with our son before that. The house is too big and too quiet, and going into their rooms and inhaling the smell they've left behind is so sweet and so sad, like they've only just walked out of the room. (I may or may not have not washed their pillowcases for weeks so I could breathe them in now and again.) They are about to return to their schools again, and it will be hard. Tho not ever as hard again as the first time. Once they've gone and come back again, you realize how much of the tapestry of family is woven from the new things each family member brings home. It's that venturing out on new adventures that makes home so special. I'm glad for you guys to have some of your time back. And I'm glad for Myles to have more loving adults in his life. That's never a bad thing.
Lovely and heart-wrenching! I remember this moment all too well and am welling up just thinking about it, having just dropped off my 5th grader for his first day. I hope that the day care experience is good for Myles and you both and that you all settle into enjoying this new phase.
Oh wow daycare...seems so far away for me because my oldest is now 16yo. She was 6 months old when she first went to daycare. Her Granny was sooo bent out of shape that her little baby was going to daycare and she stayed mad at me for days. I didn't care for the idea as my family never used daycare really but I was also 19yo trying to get my life together for this life I'd bought into the world. Her daycare would call me every time she spit up excessively and my mom was more than happy to drop what she was doing to go pick her up. They'd spend the day shopping and eating in downtown Brooklyn and then pick me up from my classes. Oh come on now Marco, now you got me crying and missing those memories with not just my little girl, but my mom too. Thank you ❤️
As usual, this post brought by tears to my eyes. It’s such a treat, you bringing us into this beautiful world you’re exploring / building—the three of you. 💕♥️
4. Why do you cut the crusts off of toast?
It’s because the edges are sharp and can cut the soft places in your mouth.
I made the mistake of listening to Phil Collins' soundtrack to "Tarzan" this morning while feeding by first baby girl oatmeal before taking her to daycare.
It was quite humid in the house, my eyes started to sweat. A lot.
Love this letter--thanks for expressing the feeling I think is universal to almost all parents who go through this.
Yes, my daughter's first months of daycare were hard on us all. It took a long time to get into the groove of it, and I still miss her when she's gone.
I'm always telling you it gets easier, but not this time. I miss my kid so much when he's not around. The worst might be around lunchtime on Mondays after a weekend together. It just feels like a piece of me is missing.
Confirming Mondays are extra hard! We are doing Mon -TH. So the extra long weekend makes the transitions tough. He is starting to be able to tell when we are going to daycare versus not. Which is good for his routine but makes it a little harder during drop offs. I'm hoping at least for him it gets a little easier!
It will definitely get easier for him! Before you know it, he’ll have a whole social life outside of you and Maya! Which will bring its own mix of joy and heartache!
When you pick him up, what fun things did he do at daycare?
Is there someone else there who is his age?
When you drive him to daycare, ask him what he thinks he might do? If he likes the day care provider, won't she be so happy to see him! If there's someone his age, won't it be fun to see them?
This is an adventure if he thinks it is.
(The only thing I suggest not doing is if he has a favorite stuffed animal, do not bring it to daycare unless you have two. Losing Bear is hard to fix.)
man! if my dad wrote these letters for me and i read them now, that’s the first parenting philosophy i should have read and the last i’ll ever need.
because i get to see what it was like to parent me. What more could i ask for?
Hoping Myles responds like this one day! Appreciate you man!
word!