The Grandmother You Never Met

Holidays bring Joy with Under Cuts of Grief

Before we get into today’s letter to Myles, I have some exciting news to share with all of you! My last letter to Myles, How I Met Your Mother, was featured in Substack Reads! This means that the letter reached everyone on the platform, offering them the opportunity to read Raising Myles. We even received a featured publication ribbon from Substack!

There are now over 600 of you receiving these weekly letters to Myles! I want to take the time to say thank you for being here—I appreciate all of you for receiving these intimate moments between me and my family with love, warmth, and respect. My dream is to present these letters to Myles when he's older. In the meantime, I want to share with the world what it's like to be a first-time dad in love with his son

A special shoutout to our newest paid subscribers Stephen and Tonda!

While I do not depend on people paying, I hope to use paid subscriptions to fund my son's college fund. Consider upgrading your subscription because college ain’t cheap.

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Every other week I have been alternating between writing long-form letters and small notes and pieces for Myles. Many of you enjoyed listening to him babble and witnessing an intimate moments, and this one centered around dealing with imposter syndrome.

As the holidays begin to roll around, I can't help but think about my wonderful mother-in-law, who was not able to meet my son, Myles.

23 Weeks Old
This is for when you ask for her

Dear Myles,

4 months before you were born,
7 months pronounced in your mother’s belly,
the grandmother you never met
left this Earth.
how can we appreciate the fruits
without acknowledging the seeds?
what is a family tree
without love for its limbs?
who dreams of raising a child without their mother?

was birth too easy?
and your mother’s postpartum would not be hard enough?
that God had to ask us to grieve too?
did He forget
that birth for Black mothers
is a promise not even He could guarantee?

4 months before you were born,
7 months pronounced in your mother’s belly,
your mother lost the woman who birthed her
you, not even born yet, lost a grandmother
I lost the joy of a picture I never even got to take

I wrote these words to immortalize her

Love, 

Daddy

And if you’re on Substack Notes, and this this letter resonated with you, please hit that“Restack” button.

Take a deep breath… and let me know your thoughts:

1. Share something special about your family tree.

2. Holidays can be challenging for some. What comes up for you as the holidays are right around the corner?

3. How can we can better support mothers, especially in the context of childbirth and postpartum challenges?

4. Have you ever experienced the bittersweet feeling of losing something you never had, like the joy of a picture never taken?

5. Take some time today to read about the challenges Black mothers encounter during childbirth and postpartum.

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These letters between Myles and I are currently free to read.

But if you want to support, consider becoming a paid subscriber.

All proceeds collected from Raising Myles contributes to his College Plan. If you can’t commit to a monthly subscription, but still want to support, here is my Buy Me a Coffee page.

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Want more of Myles’ Letters?

These are Subscriber’s favorites:

• Read about My Wife’s Love Affair - It’s exactly what you don’t think

• Have you ever been Cooking in the Bathroom kind of tired?

• Check out Carrying the Gift, Holding the Love

• Read about Our first Father’s Day.