Dear Reader,
When I first started writing letters to my son Myles, I was looking for a place to process some of the feelings coming up for me. No one really prepares you for the shift in your life when you are becoming a parent—especially a father. Most of the resources I came across were for mothers, and the ones for dads always seemed to trivialize fatherhood—like it was some kind of stand-up gig. I was looking for something deeper.
, writer of , writes from a place of honesty and vulnerability, and has some of the most honest takes on being a father that found me when I needed it most. I think his vulnerability is a gift—a place that allows other men, men like me, to lean more and more into the parts of ourselves that make us human—the part that says we laugh, we hurt, we cry—and that doing so does not make us any less of a man. In fact, it makes us more: more present, more whole, more connected to the people we love and the people we are still becoming.The video above is a conversation Alex and I had last week. This is the first time we ever spoke “face to face,” but talking to him—and watching it back for a second time—it sure didn’t feel like it. I felt connected as we talked about our fears, our wives, and our children. I felt like I was talking to someone who knew what it was like to constantly weigh the questions: What does it mean to be a good dad? What does it mean to ask for help? What do we tell ourselves to get through those toughest moments in parenting?
After talking to Alex, I left feeling seen and heard—but also questioning. Do other fathers have spaces like these? Do other fathers need spaces like these? Does the world need to see more that fathers are not just present, but doing the work to better show up for their children, their partners, and themselves? I started thinking about that feeling and wanted to talk to more dads. Because honestly, parenting not only feels hard—it can feel lonely. I can’t help but wonder how other dads are feeling.
Anyway, watch the video and let me know your thoughts. If you’re interested in me talking to more fathers I admire—like Alex—about their experience being a father, let me know. It’s something I’m interested in exploring myself. I want to talk to more dads. I’m looking to learn more about them in hopes of learning more about myself.
Maybe we don’t have to do this dad thing alone?
Let me know in the comments.
Thank you
, , , , , and many others for tuning into my live video with ! Alex, I appreciate you so much.
Let me know your thoughts:
Interested in hearing me talk to more fathers?
Do you find it hard to ask for help? If so, why?
Apologies for all the “likes.” Was it hard to listen to? Why do we all—myself included—hate the sound of our own voice?
Send me some easy affordable Mother’s Day ideas (PLEASE).
I write letters to my son, Myles, sharing my journey as a first-time dad and spreading the love I didn't experience myself. If you’ve been here before — thank you for coming back. If you’re new here, below are some good places to start:
These letters are a labor of love. All funds collected from writing these letters go toward Myles' college savings. A paid subscription also gives you access to all letters I’ve written to Myles, including these letters I write every other week or so, where I explore fatherhood more deeply, discuss my own upbringing, and reflect on what it means to be raising a Black son.
If you can’t commit to a monthly subscription, but still want to support Myles’ college plan, here is my Buy Me a Coffee page.
And if you are on Substack, please restack this letter and recommend it so I can share this love with the world.
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