Dear Marc, the arc of our lives guarantees we experience such a range of being and experience that it forms us into who we are and with insight and some luck we fall into joy - my own life that being manifest in my children and grandchildren. You are blessed. Your beautiful partner, the son who you both adore. The insights you’ve found, and now those you share with us.
I few up in a noisy house in Brooklyn - on ocean parkway though born on pacific street, my mother having lost her dad and coming home from school one day to find her mother on the sidewalk with her little brother with their furniture that their landlord put outside when he evicted them, my dad just a year old when his father was killed in a war, the youngest of seven.
We persist, we defy origins while bringing them with us to grow us into humans who take the next steps, our families with us.
You are a whole human being and a blessing to your beautiful son and wife.
Patris, this is so real. This defying origins is what this is all about. I love the way you put this. Our families are always with us. If anything today wouldn’t be possible because of them.
Just picked up phone as I’m watching my grandkids to see your note(after Christmas lunch) (don’t ask I forgot an ingredient and failed the whole Greek Yiayia thing). I got philosophical - just see you guys acing the entire stand on my shoulders thing that great parents do. May this day bring all your family joy!
I think I’m the Grinch because holidays feel like a regular day lately. We stop doing the things that made the occasion festive and feels like pulling teeth to do it now. I deal with the Grinch in my life (me😂) by acknowledging what’s coming up and probably keeping to myself or occupying my time until the feelings pass.
What comes up for me during this time is the lack of togetherness at home and how it feels like I’m the only one who wants to revive things.
I didn’t count how many times it was used. However, I don’t think it was overkill. You are writing from an authentic place and it shouldn’t be edited to be “digestible” for us.
I feel that lack of togetherness. That has to be a lot to carry. I’m grateful for my partner who genuinely loves the holidays. Even when it was just us, it felt full. Thanks for your feedback Julissa!
Merry Christmas! “I didn't try to steal anyone's joy either; I just felt indifferent.” Christmas gets me every year. I loved the description you gave I even though it turned to anger as you elaborated. There are so many expectations and at the end of the day you cannot get along with everyone just because it’s Christmas. You cannot produce gifts and fancy food if there’s financial difficulty. There is a Grinch… the abstract elephant in the room that forces humans starve, go to war and hate and fear. The Grinch is the one who let loved ones die and die alone. I don’t think you sound like a a Grinch to me. I loved this story and the photos!
Thank you! I just saw the Grinch recently and it was interesting to see what a dynamic character he was. We get to change and that’s something I’m working on everyday. Healing and having Myles has been the catalyst for the change in me. I appreciate you for reading - especially on a day people are spending time doing everything else. It means a lot!
Okay, I'm a little late, so I'll selectively answer some of the questions:
Not a grinch exactly but very, VERY frugal. My indulgences are good food, books and secondhand gifts for the grandkids. Luckily I have a very good eye, and they love the gifts!
The room I only use when I have guests is the living room. Actually, there's a spare bed behind a curtain and I have naps on it. And, actually, even my guests and I congregate around the kitchen table.
In the pictures you shared, you look really happy! All the best to you and your family in 2024.
Diana, I am late! Thank you for reading. I use to be very frugal too. It's rooted in the trauma of scarcity when I was young. But I am much better now. Appreciate your thoughts. Same to you and yours. Happy you are here.
This was so good! Wow! 👏🏽✨I was always a ‘Who’ about Christmas. I got a different experience as a child, I guess a blessed one. I’ve always loved the ‘joyful magical’ feeling of the holidays. Christmas overwhelms me now though. I feel like it’s so routine..forced to meet certain expectations..doing things just to cross it off the list. Planning to be more intentional with it moving forward.
Blossom, it seems you and my wife had the same experience growing up. I think just as it was starting to feel routine, Myles came along and now everything feels fresh. Christmas is over and today we went to see a Christmas light show lol thank you for reading and commenting
What a wonderful photo of you and your wife in the matching pyjamas. My husband is still a Grinch at Christmas but he does cook us a big meal. I've let him off the hook with Christmas card photos the last couple of years but next year...
Your last sentence made me laugh out loud because I know exactly what that means. I’m going to give him some grace and hope he’ll do better next year! (For his sake). Thank you for always coming back since you joined to comment Elaine ❤️
"But your grandmother could rub two pennies together and make a meal that would make you forget there were no gifts under the Christmas tree." Loved this quote especially. Reminds me of all the times growing up when my parents didn't have the financial means to provide presents. But they've always been "gatherers of people" so the fellowship in our home around the holidays always filled the void for physical gifts.
I love that Mariah. I’m grateful we get do both for him. In someways, this experience really humbled me. Always appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts.
hahaha.. we were both there ice skating. at 6' 4", 260 pounds, I'm hardly nimble, especially on blades, and so, I fell. On the way down, I grabbed onto the thing nearest me, which was her. She helped me up and we skated beside each other in silence for a moment.
"You just grabbed my boob, you know?" she said.
I nodded and apologized and we spent the next seven straight nights hanging out. Five years later, we got married.
It was like something out of a John Cusack movie (minus the incidental boob grab).
This was lovely Marc! Myles ornament is 🥹 adorable. I hope you had a wonderful first Christmas as parents! I do like Christmas, and the build up, but I also think the day itself can be very intense and the frenzy it sends some people in is maddening. I’m sorry Christmas wasn’t glittery when you were a child - that’s really hard. But to think of how it can, and has, changed is lovely. Life is long and full of possibilities, nothing is permenant! I’m sure you wish you could tell little Marc how Christmas is for you now. Wishing you a (slightly delayed) Merry Christmas ❤️
Martha, thank you, thank you, and thank you. Intense indeed. I'm in a new place and Christmas is serious business here. Little Marc is filled with glee, this Christmas during dirty Santa his wife won a 65 inch TV! Wishing you the same Martha! Hope you had a good one too!
I hope your sweet family had a Merry Christmas, Marc. No way you are still a Grinch. You spread too much beauty. Your letters to Myles are a gifts to us all - gifts you share week after week. Ones you don’t have to wrap or stick a bow on. That child in you who didn’t get to experience the joyous Hallmark kind of Christmas is still in you. And he is weaving joy in the hearts of so many with his writing.
And I married to a man who has grinch like tendencies. I myself had a harder time this year getting “festive”. Lots of things can get kicked up around the holidays - things we try to outrun all year long.
Allison, thank you for your kind words - this means a lot. I know holidays are different for everyone. Sorry to hear this one was a difficult one ❤️. I appreciate you for reading and sharing your experiences with me.
I love this piece. I also have a baby this Christmas and it’s such a beautiful thing...to get to raise our kids a different way, to find a bit of unexpected grace and to feel all the meaning of that. Also... to crack out of our old, damaged shells & piece by piece release whatever made them. Glad I found you!!
Isabel, I love this imagery of the old, and damaged shell. Really drives home the idea of what we did to protect the inner child. I’m only 6 months in but I’m learning so much about what it means to release. Happy to have found you as well. Thank you for letting me know this landed with you ❤️
Dear Marc, the arc of our lives guarantees we experience such a range of being and experience that it forms us into who we are and with insight and some luck we fall into joy - my own life that being manifest in my children and grandchildren. You are blessed. Your beautiful partner, the son who you both adore. The insights you’ve found, and now those you share with us.
I few up in a noisy house in Brooklyn - on ocean parkway though born on pacific street, my mother having lost her dad and coming home from school one day to find her mother on the sidewalk with her little brother with their furniture that their landlord put outside when he evicted them, my dad just a year old when his father was killed in a war, the youngest of seven.
We persist, we defy origins while bringing them with us to grow us into humans who take the next steps, our families with us.
You are a whole human being and a blessing to your beautiful son and wife.
May this day bring you all Joy.
Patris, this is so real. This defying origins is what this is all about. I love the way you put this. Our families are always with us. If anything today wouldn’t be possible because of them.
Just picked up phone as I’m watching my grandkids to see your note(after Christmas lunch) (don’t ask I forgot an ingredient and failed the whole Greek Yiayia thing). I got philosophical - just see you guys acing the entire stand on my shoulders thing that great parents do. May this day bring all your family joy!
The “salon,” is what we called that room no one sat in growing up. But unofficially I called it the “dying room” as an angsty teen 😂
Haha yes! And everything was saran wrapped. Summer’s was the worst in there!
You asked and here’s your feedback: you have this, keep doing as you are doing!
I receive this!
I think I’m the Grinch because holidays feel like a regular day lately. We stop doing the things that made the occasion festive and feels like pulling teeth to do it now. I deal with the Grinch in my life (me😂) by acknowledging what’s coming up and probably keeping to myself or occupying my time until the feelings pass.
What comes up for me during this time is the lack of togetherness at home and how it feels like I’m the only one who wants to revive things.
I didn’t count how many times it was used. However, I don’t think it was overkill. You are writing from an authentic place and it shouldn’t be edited to be “digestible” for us.
I feel that lack of togetherness. That has to be a lot to carry. I’m grateful for my partner who genuinely loves the holidays. Even when it was just us, it felt full. Thanks for your feedback Julissa!
Merry Christmas! “I didn't try to steal anyone's joy either; I just felt indifferent.” Christmas gets me every year. I loved the description you gave I even though it turned to anger as you elaborated. There are so many expectations and at the end of the day you cannot get along with everyone just because it’s Christmas. You cannot produce gifts and fancy food if there’s financial difficulty. There is a Grinch… the abstract elephant in the room that forces humans starve, go to war and hate and fear. The Grinch is the one who let loved ones die and die alone. I don’t think you sound like a a Grinch to me. I loved this story and the photos!
Thank you! I just saw the Grinch recently and it was interesting to see what a dynamic character he was. We get to change and that’s something I’m working on everyday. Healing and having Myles has been the catalyst for the change in me. I appreciate you for reading - especially on a day people are spending time doing everything else. It means a lot!
Love and blessings to you and your family! Thank you!
That ornament!!! This whole project is beautiful.
Thank you for reading Caroline. Substack has really introduced me to some wonderful souls. Thank you for being here.
Totally agree. Thank you for being here too.
So beautiful. Gave me goosebumps.
Happy New Year. 🌟
Thank you for reading Jo!
Okay, I'm a little late, so I'll selectively answer some of the questions:
Not a grinch exactly but very, VERY frugal. My indulgences are good food, books and secondhand gifts for the grandkids. Luckily I have a very good eye, and they love the gifts!
The room I only use when I have guests is the living room. Actually, there's a spare bed behind a curtain and I have naps on it. And, actually, even my guests and I congregate around the kitchen table.
In the pictures you shared, you look really happy! All the best to you and your family in 2024.
Diana, I am late! Thank you for reading. I use to be very frugal too. It's rooted in the trauma of scarcity when I was young. But I am much better now. Appreciate your thoughts. Same to you and yours. Happy you are here.
This was so good! Wow! 👏🏽✨I was always a ‘Who’ about Christmas. I got a different experience as a child, I guess a blessed one. I’ve always loved the ‘joyful magical’ feeling of the holidays. Christmas overwhelms me now though. I feel like it’s so routine..forced to meet certain expectations..doing things just to cross it off the list. Planning to be more intentional with it moving forward.
Blossom, it seems you and my wife had the same experience growing up. I think just as it was starting to feel routine, Myles came along and now everything feels fresh. Christmas is over and today we went to see a Christmas light show lol thank you for reading and commenting
feedback, you didn’t use the grinch enough 😂🤣 love this one may you have less and less grinch as you all grow.
Appreciate you, Zariel. I know this season was a tough one for you. Hope you had some time to rest and reflect.
💚 working on it, happy new year’s eve
What a wonderful photo of you and your wife in the matching pyjamas. My husband is still a Grinch at Christmas but he does cook us a big meal. I've let him off the hook with Christmas card photos the last couple of years but next year...
Your last sentence made me laugh out loud because I know exactly what that means. I’m going to give him some grace and hope he’ll do better next year! (For his sake). Thank you for always coming back since you joined to comment Elaine ❤️
"But your grandmother could rub two pennies together and make a meal that would make you forget there were no gifts under the Christmas tree." Loved this quote especially. Reminds me of all the times growing up when my parents didn't have the financial means to provide presents. But they've always been "gatherers of people" so the fellowship in our home around the holidays always filled the void for physical gifts.
I love that Mariah. I’m grateful we get do both for him. In someways, this experience really humbled me. Always appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts.
love that Bryant Park pic. That's where my wife and I met!
Man, now we need the story. You can't just drop a bomb like that and leave it lol
hahaha.. we were both there ice skating. at 6' 4", 260 pounds, I'm hardly nimble, especially on blades, and so, I fell. On the way down, I grabbed onto the thing nearest me, which was her. She helped me up and we skated beside each other in silence for a moment.
"You just grabbed my boob, you know?" she said.
I nodded and apologized and we spent the next seven straight nights hanging out. Five years later, we got married.
It was like something out of a John Cusack movie (minus the incidental boob grab).
This was lovely Marc! Myles ornament is 🥹 adorable. I hope you had a wonderful first Christmas as parents! I do like Christmas, and the build up, but I also think the day itself can be very intense and the frenzy it sends some people in is maddening. I’m sorry Christmas wasn’t glittery when you were a child - that’s really hard. But to think of how it can, and has, changed is lovely. Life is long and full of possibilities, nothing is permenant! I’m sure you wish you could tell little Marc how Christmas is for you now. Wishing you a (slightly delayed) Merry Christmas ❤️
Martha, thank you, thank you, and thank you. Intense indeed. I'm in a new place and Christmas is serious business here. Little Marc is filled with glee, this Christmas during dirty Santa his wife won a 65 inch TV! Wishing you the same Martha! Hope you had a good one too!
I hope your sweet family had a Merry Christmas, Marc. No way you are still a Grinch. You spread too much beauty. Your letters to Myles are a gifts to us all - gifts you share week after week. Ones you don’t have to wrap or stick a bow on. That child in you who didn’t get to experience the joyous Hallmark kind of Christmas is still in you. And he is weaving joy in the hearts of so many with his writing.
And I married to a man who has grinch like tendencies. I myself had a harder time this year getting “festive”. Lots of things can get kicked up around the holidays - things we try to outrun all year long.
✨Here’s to more writing in 2024 ✨
Allison, thank you for your kind words - this means a lot. I know holidays are different for everyone. Sorry to hear this one was a difficult one ❤️. I appreciate you for reading and sharing your experiences with me.
I love this piece. I also have a baby this Christmas and it’s such a beautiful thing...to get to raise our kids a different way, to find a bit of unexpected grace and to feel all the meaning of that. Also... to crack out of our old, damaged shells & piece by piece release whatever made them. Glad I found you!!
Isabel, I love this imagery of the old, and damaged shell. Really drives home the idea of what we did to protect the inner child. I’m only 6 months in but I’m learning so much about what it means to release. Happy to have found you as well. Thank you for letting me know this landed with you ❤️