The Month that Shaped Us
5 Things I Learned About You, 5 Discoveries About Myself
Dear Myles,
One Month Old
This past weekend, Mommy and I celebrated your first month of life. You are growing quickly, and it’s been beautiful to see how you change a little more every day. Below are five things I have noticed about you throughout this month:
You are not too fond of the pacifier. Once you realize there’s no milk coming from this funny blue thing in your mouth, the gig is up. You scrunch your face and push it out with your tongue. If ain’t milk, don’t give it to me. We got it.
You prefer to be strapped in the car seat while we are in the car, not before.
You love sleeping with your hands near your ears. When we put you down in your Snuggle Me for a nap, we know you're about to sleep well because your hands always seem to find themselves near your ears. It's as if you are letting us know: Look, I am sleeping now - Keep it down or I'll turn up.
You enjoy going to the backyard to listen to the birds, especially in the morning. Before we practice our colors and foods together by reading Manje Lakansyel (Eating the Rainbow) to practice our Creole, I take you outside. You shut your eyes tightly because you've learned the sun is not something to look at. Although your eyes are closed, I can feel your body go limp in my arms, but you're not sleeping – you are seeing with your ears. I love how you take in nature.
You are not fragile as I thought you would be.
I can't help but notice things about myself too this past month since your arrival: some new, some old. Some things I thought I faced, but they crept up, tapped me, and asked, 'Hey, remember us?'
I'm needy and more than a bit jealous, especially when it comes to Mommy. I'm not used to being number two. No one prepared me for the emotional shift that was about to happen, but I'm willing to share. I know, she's amazing, isn't she?
Our first trip with you to Mommy's favorite place: Target. I know how to cook better than I thought. Before you came along, Mommy was the one who cooked most of the meals in our house. I used to tell myself that I only eat for fuel and can't cook well, so it's best to leave the meals to Mommy. However, ever since the last months of her pregnancy and up until now, the kitchen has become my domain. I now enjoy being in the kitchen: recreating the comforting meals from my childhood that my mom used to make for me, trying out new recipes, and of course, preparing the meals that Mommy makes. Don't get me wrong, your mom has me beat when it comes to the kitchen. Even though she can be a tough critic, I take pleasure in serving her.
I do okay with 3 hours of sleep.
Critiques. I do not take them well. I never did, but I see that more clearly now with you in the picture. But I think it's easier now to accept the critique because I have to be honest with myself and admit—I genuinely don't know what I am doing. To be honest, up until two weeks ago, changing your diaper felt like I was about to go to war: sweating, heart racing, you crying - code red. I am committed to listening more and figuring out what's my deal when it comes to critiques. I want to grow for me, you, and us. Yup, I'm back in therapy - more on that later.
I get to be the dad I want to be.
I am sure I will be writing more about these later. But for now, I just want to say thank you in advance for adding even more meaning to my life.
Love,
Daddy
Hey reader, what do you call this where you are from?
I call that a binky. I actually had to tell a big ol’ lie to my daughter to get her to give hers up. She was about to turn three so I told her it was the law that when you turned three you gave up your binky. She turned three and that day gave up her binky. LOL I did confess what I did when she got older though. She’ll be 17 in a few weeks, but it feels like yesterday.
Our son is five. Reading this truly took me back in time. Everything you talk about here, is my life 😂. Diaper changing was a massive event for me, I’m a beast in the kitchen now, and I learn so much about myself from him. I miss the days when he was that young some times. Everyday is more beautiful than the last and yet so fragile as less and less of them are left.
Also, the target thing had me dying. This is my wife favorite place too!
And we Dominican call that a “bobo.”