Voice Notes: Forgiving our Fathers
Thoughts While Driving
17 Months
Dear Myles,
I have been thinking about my father, your grandfather lately. While driving to work, I pressed record on my voice note add and recorded this message/letter for you. I hope voice notes like this is something you’ll appreciate when you’re older. This is from my heart to yours.
Transcript below:
I’m asking for forgiveness in advance for all the ways I will fail as your father, but also as human
But I feel a bit hypocritical asking for forgiveness so early in the game
When it’s hard to even wrong you
Asking for forgiveness when I did not forgive my own father after 32 years
Sometimes the love we deserve,
People cannot give it
Not because they don’t want to
Simply because they cannot
It is outside their proximal zone of love
I have no doubt my father, your grandfather, loved me
But it is one thing to know and another thing to feel
But I’ve been singing this song
for way too long,
This tune in my guitar,
This note in my piano,
And I think it’s finally time for me to let it go.
I think it’s time to finally forgive him.
Because if I don’t forgive him,
How will you ever forgive me?
That holding these grudges
Is less about him
And more about me.
That tomorrow begins a new day,
And yesterday gets to fade away.
Maybe tomorrow we can create a new possibility.
Maybe tomorrow the love I was searching for will find me.
I love you and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Love,
Daddy
If you enjoyed this voice note, you might enjoy this one too: Musings in the Backyard
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Take a deep breath….let me know your thoughts:
Have you ever struggled with forgiving someone close to you? What made it difficult to let go?
What does forgiveness mean to you? Is it more about the person who hurt you, or about finding peace within yourself?
How do you distinguish between what someone wants to give and what they are capable of giving in a relationship?
What are you holding on to that’s no longer serving you? Is it time to let it go?
I’ve teamed up with some great people to host a writing group called Locked In - a weekly virtual writing session for Black, Indigenous, & Writers of Color and writers of the global majority. We write together every Friday at 9:00AM ET. If you’re looking for some community around writing, please tap in.
Celebrating Black Writers
I built a virtual and interactive library to celebrate writers who have inspired me in writing to Myles every week. This is me giving them their flowers. Feel free to click around!
The Cookout Library 👋🏿👋🏽👋🏾
What’s The Cookout Library👋🏿👋🏽👋🏾? The Cookout Library is a virtual compilation of Black Writers put together by me —we deserve to be seen. Consider these writers seasoning for your palette. These writers have inspired me, encouraged me, and are just beautiful souls.
I have been thinking of this so much the past few days. Without forgiveness things remain so gripped and unmoving.
That's it. The forgiveness and acceptance and compassion-- and the willingness to stop singing that old tune even though the lyrics will be in your head forever.